La Vida Dolce

Between Two Hearts

love triangle

 

Between two hearts is where I lay,

Choosing who should stay.

Moving forward, staying back

Its never as easy as that.

Who brings out the best in you?

No one know but you.

Broken-hearted lies ones’ fate.

Time will tell, a journey to unfold.

Between two hearts is where I lay.

                                                                         

Whispers Loud Enough to Hear

fat-shamingSo…I’ve been thinking about the last few days of what to write and then this morning, BAM!, it hit me. I was sitting on the couch doing my usual morning Facebook scan and I see something my youngest sister posted a few days ago. My oh my did it leave me speechless; I had to pick my jaw off the floor!

My youngest sister has been overweight practically her whole life, and because of that, she was bullied as a youngster and received sideways glances, but a few days ago was one for the Guinesses Book of World Record – she was fat-shamed!

This is what happened:

Over my 21 years, I have been bullied for my weight through giggling, laughing, berating, and when younger, physical abuse by other kids, but today was the worst I’ve seen in my adult life.
 
I was out to lunch with a friend, we went in and immediately three women, around 43 years old, started laughing. At first, I thought they may have made a joke, but then hear them say, “wow, look how fat that girl is” among other disparaging comments. As usual, I look at them, and say to myself, “they’re not happy with themselves so have to find something in someone else to hurt”. But then this happened again, but from an older married couple who spoke in Spanish-which I can understand almost perfectly. And again this happened to a father with his boys when we sat down at a booth. 
I was wearing workout shirt and long yoga pants— NOT that it matters.
 
The amount of outright bullying and disrespect for human emotion and regards is disturbing. To teach your children it is perfectly okay to disregard a person due to his/her image is insulting and a foreshadowing to the future of the world.
 
I do not write this for pity, but to show that, that overweight girl may be intelligent, beautiful, honest, and sophisticated, but the words you spew at her, for no reason but a superficial one, can cause unnecessary damage.
Think before you judge.

 

fat-shaming 3What?! Have people become that superficial and cruel?!  I understand the negative stereotypes associated with obesity: lazy, unkept, careless, undisciplined, but that does not justify the community for excluding overweight individuals and making them feel worthless.  We all have a story to tell and this sort of “fat-shaming” prevents us from getting to know each other and sharing those stories.  If grown adults are willing to exhibit this sort of behavior to a college student, then what are they teaching their own children? They’re teaching them to disrespect and judge others before getting to know them as a person.

Yes, obesity does have grave medical consequences but our goal should not be to shun those that are overweight. We should foster a community where we promote a healthy lifestyle for everyone and show there is support and encouragement out there.

fat-shaming2For those rude individuals who did not take the time to know my sister, let me tell you who she is. She’s:

  • A chemical engineering student at a top engineering university
  • Has a huge, huge heart
  • Has an infectious laugh
  • Has a wicked sense of humor that makes our whole family’s bellies ache from laughter
  • Gives the best hugs
  • Someone who loves to jam out and have dance parties in the car 🙂
  • A great listener and advice-giver, she’s wise beyond her years
  • Extremely family-oriented and supportive

Let’s think before we speak and change our attitudes about others.  Your words will do more harm than good.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Happy reading 🙂

 

Uncloaking PMS

PMS1Once a month, every month women are blessed with nature’s most wonderful curse, and with it comes the dreaded PMS – no, not PMS! During that time we’re depicted as fire-breathing she-dragons that should be isolated for fear of destroying the whole village. Our families, husbands, boyfriends, and guy friends dread that one week a month and try being on their best behaviors – am I right ladies? 😉 😛

We all know the symptoms of PMS: depression, irritability, anxiety, mood swings, bloating, incessant eating, etc.  The extreme of these symptoms have been classified as a psychological disorder called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) according to the DSM-5 (which is the bible for psychological professionals), but this interesting TEDtalk I found contradicts this classification.  Researchers have found that although the typical “PMS symptoms” may increase in frequency during that lovely time, there’s actually no specific evidence to qualify it as a psychological disorder.  The list of symptoms are so long and wide and the time frame is so diverse that basically every woman, possibly every person, would have PMDD at some point in their lives.  Whew, we’re in the clear ladies!

PMS2In fact, Robyn Stein DeLuca advocates that perpetuating the “PMS myth” may be lucrative for the pharmaceutical and consumer industry, but has adverse consequences for women.  The main consequence is how the myth contributes to the stereotype of women being “irrational”, “hysterical”, and “emotionally unreliable”.  Any negative emotions we may exhibit during that time are quickly invalidated as “she’s on her period”, reminding us that it’s not ok to be emotional and our thoughts/feelings aren’t taken seriously.  Ladies, let’s not hide under the cloak of PMS. Stand true to your emotions, thoughts, and feelings but channel them in a positive manner during that time.

And gentleman, arm yourself with chocolate, lots of chocolate 😉 🙂 (just kidding)

PMS3

I would love to hear your thoughts. Happy reading 🙂

 

 

Mommy Dearest

your-mother

My birthday is in 2 days and I will be turning 29. For some reason I’ve been quite apathetic about this birthday, which is unusual since birthdays are highly celebrated in my family.  I don’t feel like I’m turning 29. Mentally, physically, and emotionally I feel younger, not in an immature sort of way, but in a way that I feel there’s so much more to be done.  Some of you are probably already thinking “What are you complaining about? 29 is not THAT OLD!”, and yes you’re right, I’m not that old. I should save the freaking out until next year when I turn 30 ::gulp:: 😉 😛

Looking back on my soon to be 29 years, I feel a sense of panic – what have I actually done to “better” society and those around me? There’s so much left to discover, people to help, individuals to meet, and places to explore.  Time is going by incredibly fast, especially the last 4 years; those years have flown by like Star Trek’s warp speed. There’s so much in my mind that I still want to accomplish and I hope time and circumstance will allow them to happen.

I was talking to my mom yesterday, thanking her and my family for their wonderful birthday gifts, and we got to talking about the last few years.  She was amazed at how much I’ve blossomed as a woman and overcome many obstacles to be where I am now.  If anyone knows one thing about Momma G, you’d know that she’s always very proud of my sisters and I and never fails to express that to us.  It gives me a sense of pride knowing that my parents are proud of me, especially my mom, because I know just how much she sacrificed and helped my sisters and I along the way.  All the endless talks of encouragement and figuring out the best ways to get where we wanted to go.  I know at times my mom and I didn’t particularly see eye-to-eye, but I realized her “protectiveness” had a purpose that I’m truly understanding now.  I know I don’t say nor express it enough, but I appreciate every talk, move, and encouragement my mom has given me to get me where I am today.  Without her, I don’t think I’d have the strength to overcome the pitfalls in the road and continue moving forward.

So yes, in 2 days I shall be 29. There’s so much left to be done, but one thing’s certain, I’ll be glad to have my mom by my side every step of the way.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Happy reading 🙂

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